ABANDONMENT ISSUES

 Sometimes you feel like you're on top of the world and loved by all and sometimes you feel lonely and abandoned. I personally over the last 5 years have made it a point of cutting out anyone who I feel does not serve my higher purpose. If I feel they had bad vibes or not good intentions they have to go. Which is what you're supposed to do right??? You're supposed to protect yourself from those who are not genuine and try to cause you harm. But what about that person you cut off??? What have they gone through in their life??? People's behaviors reflect what they have experienced. Are you reading deep enough??? Do these people act and treat you this way because they're evil or do they act this way because they haven't healed from the experiences they've been through???      I'm known out of my group of friends as the one who doesn't take anyone's shit. I refuse to let anyone else feel they can treat me any kind of way and get away with it. I'm very quick to distance myself from a person once I get a bad vibe or several bad vibes. But where did I learn that from??? My father. I was raised in a single mother home and my father would come see me when he felt like it. He would call when he felt like it. He would pick up the phone when I was calling when he felt like it. As a child you need your parents at all times!!! But when it came to my father I didn't have mines and he would only show up when it benefits him, having no regard towards my feelings or needs. And it took me to this point in my life to realize I have abandonment issues. I felt abandoned by my father when I wouldn't do what he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted. I lived my life in fear that if I didn't do what he wanted he would leave me and that's something I didn't want because no one likes to feel alone and I needed his love. I felt all my life my father held the puppet strings to his love and he just played with me when he wanted. I felt that I wasn't taken serious as his child because I was the only one out of all his children that didn't grow up with him in the house. So I felt that he felt he didn't have to be there if he didn't want to.      And that's how I started carrying it with other people as I grew into an adult. I don't have to be here so I'm gone. That's how I've carried it with family, friends, lovers, and jobs. If it's not benefiting me to my liking I don't have to stay I'll be ok anyways. But that's not healthy to always cut people out your life especially with no warning or conversation about it. That's a terrible way to communicate and also another trait I got from my dad. Leaving things unfinished with other people can cause a deep regret within yourself that can have a hold on you for years. So, its better to confront what obstacles you have in your life rather then run from it because it will only get bigger and follow you. Don't abandon your issues.       Whether we like how people have treated us or not the issue still has to be dealt with. You can't run forever from broken things in your past. Because just like a car if you don't change the oil it will eventually break down. Maybe it's time for a tune up in your spiritual and emotional life. What abandonment issues do you need to deal with and heal from??? And how will it benefit you in the long run???